Thursday, November 13, 2014

Well, this sucks...

The doc called today with my results.  The good news is that I got my 50% benign results back, at least for one visit.  The biopsy at my original site revealed old scar tissue that healed "weird" and no signs of any mutating cells or the monster.  Whew.  The good news.

And now the bad, the site on my thigh.  Not so lucky there.  Again, this biopsy revealed a dysplastic nevi, yada, yada, yada.... that requires a second, more invasive procedure to make sure the monster is not lurking deeper within.  So, I go back in about 2 weeks to get a good chunk of my leg cut out.  Oh joy.  Yes, I'm being snarky and immature and I'm ok with that right now.  I would go sooner but I start a new job on Monday and asking for time off the first week doesn't work for me.  The week after is Thanksgiving and the doc is booked or out, so the following week it is.  Although I go just before Thanksgiving to get my stitches out on my back but that's a RN visit that will take maybe 5 minutes.  If I could reach the area, I'd take them out myself but I won't.  And because the swelling is pretty impressive.  A lesson in messing with old scars.

So, I poured myself a nice glass of wine when I got home.  I'll be over my temper tantrum soon.  I always allow myself to be human and grieve my lot in life in this battle and then I move on and keeping fighting the good fight.  Because I STILL refuse to give up!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Ding, ding... next round

This past week was another visit to the dermatologist and the matching biopsy accessories to go with it.  (Yes, I know I only crack myself up sometimes.)

I walked out after 2 biopsies and just one new scar.  One of the biopsies is at my original site.  There's a section I've never liked and the doc agreed this time.  So, these stitches are where there were already some so no new scar there.  The other site is on my upper thigh.  I have to admit to never having a biopsy site not be painful, so it's wonderful that I don't notice this one at all.  It's finally jeans weather in Northern California so I don't have to explain the bandaging to anyone either.  So, basically, it's a "low maintenance" biopsy site.  I wish more were like this.

This visit was good for my mental health also.  I finally was completely honest with the doc about my fears that we are losing ground to the monster because I'm now getting so few benign results.  She was sympathetic and understanding and did not downplay my fears.  The doc also didn't make false promises or gloss over the issue.  She said that we are being proactive and that's the best we can do to make sure the monster doesn't come back.  We both agreed that staying on the 3 month cycle was the best course still until something changes.  I'm hoping that change is the reappearance of more benign results but time will tell.

Again, I have an awesome doc.  She's going to call with results this way no matter what they may be.  That's pretty good service in my book.  Should I expect this service as a survivor? Some would debate it.  I'll just say I don't expect it (in our current health care system) but I sure appreciate it.  I also know she'd love to call with good news as much as understanding bad news is best delivered by a person and not a letter.