The really cool thing (unless you are paranoid) about having cancer is that the doctors seem to work well together and communicate.
Unfortunately, I am a major klutz. Of epic proportions. So bad that my mom put me in ballet as a kid not for the dance but to learn some grace. Didn't work. I can find any solid object in my path, usually with my feet. My poor toes have paid the price over 40+ years of walking.
Yesterday, I had 2 procedures done on 2 toes on my left foot. Short version = one leaking joint sealed up and one toe with extra bones removed (bones, not toe). So, I'm sporting a gorgeous black orthopedic sandal look. But the point of this story is the doctor connection.
I never told the podiatrist that I am a melanoma warrior. There are no marks or moles on my feet/toes where he was working so I didn't say anything. During our conversation yesterday while he was fixing me, he mentioned my dermatologist and how awesome she is. Keep in mind, they are not in the same office. He referenced knowing I could handle the numbing shots because I do it often. (Side note, numbing shots deep in your feet stink big time. I'll take my upper skin any day over that.) I couldn't help but be impressed that he was aware of my history. I could comfortably confirm for him exactly how long my stitches need to stay in from too many biopsies and he knew I was sharing trusted information.
I don't know who shared what with whom. Sure, my file may be flagged. I'd be surprised if it wasn't but to me that's the thoroughness that a warrior should have and expect. It reminds me of how lucky I am to have a team on my side fighting this with me. I often feel very isolated in this fight and yesterday's visit had the unintentional effect of reminding me that I'm not fighting alone. Now I'm off to go put my foot up and never take for granted how much my toes effect my daily life.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
A first..almost 5 years post diagnosis
I admit it, this blog has suffered. Greatly. It is partly intentional, partly unintentional. I still make an effort to not let my life be controlled by the monster. Yep, 5 years later it's still a valid, constant fight. So I don't write, research, or concentrate on melanoma for as many days as I can... in a row. Luckily, those days are slowly adding up to more each time. But there's always something that ends the streak.
A quick update since I wrote forever ago...... I still go in for biopsies about every 4 months. Sometimes, 3 months and rarely 6 months. The biopsies are a mix of "punch" sites and "shave" sites. So, I end up with a few stitches each time. No biggie, I got this routine down. I've yet to take out a single stitch but that's more because I want to be a good patient and less about not knowing how. And it's a set of eyes on me one more time even though it's only about 5 minutes.
So, to "the first" this last visit. In previous blogs, I've written about my on-going 50% benign/dysplastic rate. The visit last week led to two sites being biopsied but one of them had already been biopsied about a year ago. The "mole" had grown back through the site. The last time this occurred (on my back), the second biopsy revealed that the monster was just a few cells from rearing its ugly head. After a long talk with the doctor, we decided to play it safe and re-biopsy the site since it had been mildly atypical the first time. The second site was on my upper back area about 4 inches above my original site.
The doc's assistant called a few days later and I braced for impact because it was too quick of a phone call. And wouldn't you know it, both sites were benign. BOTH! I haven't had a full set of benign results EVER in this battle. I couldn't believe my ears but I listened to the voicemail several times. It's definitely a first that I'll take but don't kid yourself about it helping me to relax on trusting the monster to not be hiding still.
My heart still doesn't trust the results. The news seems too good to be true. This is what survivors talk about in always expecting the worst, bracing for it, and not believing it won't happen again. I totally get that now since I'd never had this experience before. Again, more learning that no one can explain fully to you until you go through it yourself. Instead of thinking I'm "getting healthier" I think, "We missed it this time" and "am I targeting the wrong sites." And having regular, atypical results constantly remind me the monster is hiding.
Yes, I'll enjoy my benign results. My next visit is 4 months away... 24 days before my 5th anniversary. I already have a site that is freaking me out but I'll wait to see if it's a legit fear or the paranoia getting the better of me again. I'll write more about what facing 5 years is doing to my brain in the next entry. It's ain't pretty and deserves a full brain vomit on the page.
A quick update since I wrote forever ago...... I still go in for biopsies about every 4 months. Sometimes, 3 months and rarely 6 months. The biopsies are a mix of "punch" sites and "shave" sites. So, I end up with a few stitches each time. No biggie, I got this routine down. I've yet to take out a single stitch but that's more because I want to be a good patient and less about not knowing how. And it's a set of eyes on me one more time even though it's only about 5 minutes.
So, to "the first" this last visit. In previous blogs, I've written about my on-going 50% benign/dysplastic rate. The visit last week led to two sites being biopsied but one of them had already been biopsied about a year ago. The "mole" had grown back through the site. The last time this occurred (on my back), the second biopsy revealed that the monster was just a few cells from rearing its ugly head. After a long talk with the doctor, we decided to play it safe and re-biopsy the site since it had been mildly atypical the first time. The second site was on my upper back area about 4 inches above my original site.
The doc's assistant called a few days later and I braced for impact because it was too quick of a phone call. And wouldn't you know it, both sites were benign. BOTH! I haven't had a full set of benign results EVER in this battle. I couldn't believe my ears but I listened to the voicemail several times. It's definitely a first that I'll take but don't kid yourself about it helping me to relax on trusting the monster to not be hiding still.
My heart still doesn't trust the results. The news seems too good to be true. This is what survivors talk about in always expecting the worst, bracing for it, and not believing it won't happen again. I totally get that now since I'd never had this experience before. Again, more learning that no one can explain fully to you until you go through it yourself. Instead of thinking I'm "getting healthier" I think, "We missed it this time" and "am I targeting the wrong sites." And having regular, atypical results constantly remind me the monster is hiding.
Yes, I'll enjoy my benign results. My next visit is 4 months away... 24 days before my 5th anniversary. I already have a site that is freaking me out but I'll wait to see if it's a legit fear or the paranoia getting the better of me again. I'll write more about what facing 5 years is doing to my brain in the next entry. It's ain't pretty and deserves a full brain vomit on the page.
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